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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28118982">Burning Flowers</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultOfMelkurMistress/pseuds/VaultOfMelkurMistress'>VaultOfMelkurMistress</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Amnesia, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, always fluff for them</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:41:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,138</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28118982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaultOfMelkurMistress/pseuds/VaultOfMelkurMistress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor finds Missy in a psychiatric hospital on earth, suffering with amnesia and apparantly manic and delusional. They run together, Missy having no clue who she is but sure that she rather likes this Doctor and also has casual homicidal tendancies.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Thirteenth Doctor/Missy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Purple Rainbows - a Thrissy collection.</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I deleted this fic previously. Apologies if you took the time to read it. I am gonna try not to delete my fics again. </p><p>This will be hurt/comfort and lighter happier times. Missy has amnesia for real here - not like the times she's pretended in my other fics😆 they wont stay in the hospital for long.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/><p>
  <span>It was morning again. Another cycle had passed, night becoming day, sunrise, sunset, voices, movement, questions - and then sleep once more. Sunlight streamed through the barred and heavily reinforced glass of the one window in her room and a slight breeze through the small gap when the window was inched open to ventilate the room for an hour each day before it was secured and locked again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t a bad place - not cruel or even unkind, just very sedate and tiring. Very boring.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She didn't know how long she had been there, time was a tedious and confusing thing when it stretched out endlessly. The staff didn’t stay long - they wrote journals, they studied patients, they moved on to other hospitals. A constant stream of Doctors, little continuity of care, but each time she would grow excited, hopeful even at meeting the new Doctor yet feel a flash of disappointment when she saw them. She didn't know why, she didn't know what she had expected every time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today she was meeting the latest new Doctor and yet again, the flash of intrigue was there. She tried to reign it in, but wondered if there was any point -this was after all a psychiatric hospital, what use in pretence of sanity? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been left alone except for the frequent well being checks the nurses liked to do, for the most part, especially</span>
  <em>
    <span> that</span>
  </em>
  <span> day, given their relief at escorting her back to her room after the art room incident. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The art room incident never would have occurred had they not forced her to do group art and crafts. She painted a rather detailed and intricate picture of a team of metal men, making a rather ordinary human become just like them. She put a lot of detail into it. The patient next to her cried and said it was horrifying. She was quite proud of it herself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The nurses had suggested she paint something more positive, a nice flower perhaps - in fact the very flower in the centre of the room that all the </span>
  <em>
    <span>other</span>
  </em>
  <span> patients were painting instead of ignoring it and drawing a scene of body horror. She picked up the glitter pots in protest, the very </span>
  <em>
    <span>large</span>
  </em>
  <span> glitter pots, holding one in each hand and removed both lids, standing on the table and holding her arms outstretched as she spun around, the glitter showering down in a tornado, covering the other patients and the staff who tried to get her of the table. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She also set fire to the flower. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>No one knew quite how, or where she was able to find materials to start a fire, so they escorted her back to her room and locked the door. Again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Today though was a good day, because it was New Doctor Day yet again. She had no idea what time of day it was, but she had occupied herself by laying down and imagining stories in her mind for quite some time while she waited to be collected to meet her new Doctor. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Imagining stories always worked so well - she imagined the most exciting, chaotic things. Pretty things, bright shining flames and excitement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The new Doctor was quite beautiful - slightly unconventionally dressed, but she found she rather liked that. She had blonde hair, a rainbow striped top and a long coat - definitely quirky and it would seem that quirky was most definitely her type. She smiled as she sat down in front of the Doctor's desk, the Doctor looking through the stack of paperwork from her medical file until she looked up and gave a warm smile, something passing through her eyes that was hard to place. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry, there’s a lot in your file here and they brought you to me earlier than I expected, haven’t had a chance to read. Shall we start with introductions? I’m the Doctor.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well that’s a twist, I never expected you to be a Doctor, don't get many of those around here,” she said, sarcasm rolling out easily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my name, the Doctor, that’s what everyone calls me, how about you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bit egotistical to go by </span>
  <em>
    <span>the Doctor</span>
  </em>
  <span> isn’t it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It just kind stuck over the...years. You didn’t tell me your name?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh dear, did they send me one who can’t navigate paperwork?” she said, rolling her eyes again. “It’s Missy. Just Missy. Just like you, it’s what everyone calls me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go by any other names?” the Doctor asked, her gaze quizzical.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, just Missy, this is fun. What shall we do for the other 46 minutes of this session?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you in this facility Missy?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because I’m bananas, isn’t that obvious?” Missy said with a shrug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, amnesia doesn’t warrant a compulsory stay….” she said, leafing through the papers scattered across her desk. “Ah...time travel…OH…’the patient reports that this is her 19th body - some bodies having been stolen </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> delusions of parallel worlds. Claims to have travelled from 1892’ Ah, that’ll do it. Do </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> think you’re mentally unstable?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, you tell me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What if I told you you’re not?” the Doctor asked cautiously before pausing and rummaging around on her desk and picking up a stack of drawings. Laying them out across the desk, facing Missy, she smiled. “Tell me what these are.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dreams,” Missy said with a shrug. “I like to draw what I dream, that’s all.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re talented, these drawings are exceptional. This one,” the Doctor said, pushing forward a picture of a large room, a piano in the centre and a very detailed drawing of the Doctor’s previous incarnation. “Tell me about it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Piano music, boredom, baths, and eggs.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Eggs?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes eggs, or just one egg, don't ask me why, but when I have that dream I always wake with a craving to eat an egg for breakfast.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” the Doctor said, utterly intrigued and a fair bit suspicious. “Tell me what this is.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Missy stared hard at the black umbrella that the Doctor produced from under her desk and placed on top of her drawings. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pick it up Missy,” she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Where did you get your psychiatric qualifications from? Doctor internet?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Humour me, go ahead,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Missy shrugged and sat forward, her hand hovering over the material before taking it between her fingers, feeling the texture. Her hand ran across the length and up to the handle, a slight smile flickering at the corner of her mouth before she frowned, picking it up and placing it on her lap. “It's a nice umbrella.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You told the last Doctor you had travelled here from 1892 - this was yours once, made that year. Guess that’s your favourite year for clothing, accessories - you probably </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>come from there, been shopping?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your approach is to play along with my delusions I assume then?" she said, unimpressed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're not delusional, just a bit...lost? Your file says you're very disruptive, cleverly so if you ask me; floods, fires, computer hacking, and...oh..AH.. a major preoccupation with a dolls house."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I get bored, need some entertainment," Missy shrugged. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The other patients and sometimes staff, seem to.... do what you say and go along with plans and activities that are not authorised….Missy….what are you </span>
  <em>
    <span>doing</span>
  </em>
  <span>?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I have a magnetic personality," Missy said with a shrug. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor sat back in her chair with a deep sigh and increasing sense of uncertainty. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Tell me about the dolls house," she asked, watching her carefully. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's fun. Classic Victorian furniture, sophisticated decor. I like imagining things when I play."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ever… put new dolls in there?" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Where would I get new dolls from?" she asked, the picture of innocence and confusion.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor decided to check the staff rota in great detail later that day and ensure no one was missing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're my favourite," Missy said, suddenly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Favourite Doctor?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yes, but I know we've only just met, but I'm crazy so I don't hold back - you are my new favourite Doctor!"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Oh...thank you," the Doctor said, perplexed by the entire situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well don't thank me yet, the last one was found dead in mysterious circumstances after not sitting next to me at lunch one day and thus hurting my feelings."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Are you..Missy...did you.."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kill them?" she asked, smiling with great amusement.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Yeah...did you kill them because they sat with someone else one day?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm not a homicidal maniac!" Missy said, bursting into laughter. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor chose not to respond to that.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She spent the rest of the day seeing two other patients, who were quite happy to talk about Missy, in fact she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>all</span>
  </em>
  <span> they wanted to talk about. Later, she spent time studying Missy's case file. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was interesting reading, but still she couldn't be sure if Missy was faking her amnesia. She sighed, reading the file to discover that she had been there for eight months. It didn't make sense - she couldn't see what Missy could be gaining for keeping up an act for that long, but could she really trust that Missy was genuine?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She announced she would be visiting patients in their rooms that day, to get a sense of their behaviour in a safe space  in depth. She went straight to Missy's room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor sat down on the only chair in the room, leafing through her notes as Missy stood, looking out through the barred window.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Regular vital sign checks, that's to expected in a hospital...have they not...noticed..."she paused, pulling a stethoscope from her pocket. "Can I just have a listen?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure knock yourself out," Missy said with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor frowned as she nudged the stethoscope down the front of Missy's blouse, listening for only a seconds before moving to other spots and standing back with a satisfied smile </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Everything ok there then, so that's not what's going on....you've been in isolation 36 times, there are restraints on this bed….you're not faking this and I cant let you be treated like that...and...oh Missy….this list of medication, please tell me you're not actually swallowing these pills, some of them are harmful to our physiology...to...I mean...not helpful for you, and all these blood pressure pills....I see why they'd be alarmed but..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Is that a trick?" Missy asked, turning to face her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No. You're not in trouble, promise," the Doctor said with a smile. "I need to work out what's in your system because quite possibly, whatever you've taken has delayed your recovery from amnesia...let's take a look."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Doctor pulled out her sonic and scanned Missy, frowning as she focused. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah yes. You've faked taking over two thirds of this then, good job. Well done Missy. Slow release injections of mood stabilisers though….that's the culprit.  Did they not notice your moods weren't actually becoming stable on all this...your patient record should have shown they had no effect on you. Let's just be grateful they didn't do a chest x ray..."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Missy stared at her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ah...the sonic? Want to..hold it?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Missy shrugged and took it, passing it from one hand to another before she spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm keeping this," she said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No, that's mine, you can't just have it,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Well I want it," Missy said. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It’s mine, you can't just steal my things because you want them."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Somehow the concept of stealing your stuff is highly appealing honey, sorry," Missy said with a shrug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Missy...listen," the Doctor said, leaning closer as her tone became hushed. "Want to escape, get you out of here today?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Sure why not, it's bingo tonight and I'm banned from that activity so let's bust out."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"The cost is my sonic."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine, have your toy back" she said, rolling her eyes and placing it in the Doctor’s outstretched hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Why are you banned from bingo?" the Doctor asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Missy simply smirked. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so sorry for the long gap, thanks for reading and I hope you continue to enjoy this.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Missy laughed quite joyously as the Doctor took her hand and pushed open the security door, walking as silently as she could along a little used service corridor toward the exit. She gripped her hand tightly and with no warning, broke into a skip, causing the Doctor to increase pace.</p><p>“Missy,” she whispered. “We are almost out, please be quiet, I don’t want alarms raised.”</p><p>“Oh, are you kidnapping me? How exciting!” she said, dropping the Doctor's hand as she leaned back against the wall beside a fire alarm panel. “Do hope you tie me up – get a feeling I’m quite into that.”</p><p>“<em>Missy,</em>” the Doctor whispered, exasperated. “I’m not kidnapping you, I’m just….assisting your recovery, by getting you out of here - you don't belong in here, you must realise that! Out there – if you really...really, don't know who you are, then you have to stay with me, but you’re not my prisoner, this isn’t an abduction.”</p><p>“OK, but hear me out,” Missy said, excitement dancing in her eyes. “Beautiful new Doctor arrives and shows <em> quite </em> the interest in me, then within a day, sneaks me out of the hospital and says I’m not being kidnapped but must stay with her….hmmmm...sounds a little..sus.”</p><p>“Just trust me Missy, can you do that?”</p><p>“Sure, of course,” Missy said. “I always listen to my Doctor.”</p><p>The Doctor let out a relieved sigh, then frowned as Missy turned, her cheek against the wall as she contemplated the fire alarm, her hand flat against the wall, sliding closer to it with each second.</p><p>“Missy….”</p><p>“Of course I trust a total stranger who clearly has quite the complex, by saying everyone should call her Doctor – doesn’t that get confusing in a hospital? But anyway, I don’t trust you, why would I? But I do rather want to stick with you like glue for some reason I don’t understand, let’s not question it, you’re gorgeous, I’m gorgeous, you’ve taken enough of a shine to me to want to steal me away for yourself, so let’s go! Girls on the run! But this is far too boring – we need to liven this abduction up a notch.”</p><p>“I….Missy, can we just...quietly walk toward that exit and slip out unnoticed...please?”</p><p>“No. Boring!” Missy said as she drew back her hand and slammed her fist into the fire panel, an alarm sounding immediately. “Oopsie!”</p><p>The Doctor rolled her eyes and grabbed Missy’s hand, shaking her head as Missy laughed happily when they broke into a run.</p><p>A louder alarm sounded as they left the fire exit doors and the Doctor, for all her resolve and determination, found herself grinning as she ran, hand in hand while Missy laughed. They turned a corner and instantly turned back around, security guards and staff leaving the nearby doors in haste. The Doctor inwardly cursed and surveyed the car park they were now trapped in.</p><p>“Flaw in your plan dear?” Missy whispered, her breath tickling against the Doctor’s neck.</p><p>The Doctor startled, not realising how close Missy was standing to her, a rush of feeling and excitement flooding her all at once at their proximity.</p><p>“We have to leave and I can’t get to my...vehicle.”</p><p>“Steal one,” Missy said with a shrug as she placed her hands one on top of the other, placing them on the Doctor’s shoulder, before resting her chin on top. </p><p>“I can’t just steal a car, they all belong to someone..”</p><p>“And…” Missy began, confused.</p><p>“I can’t steal other people’s cars, they’d be stuck here, and that might draw further attention,” the Doctor said</p><p>“Let them walk, and I rather like attention, so let’s get that nice blue car over there,” Missy said.</p><p>“<em>Fine,</em> but I don’t condone this,” the Doctor said, as they crept to the car, the Doctor not making a sound and Missy humming cheerfully as she tugged at the hem of her shirt. “Gonna need to make a stop for some clothes, these hospital issue outfits really lack style.”</p><p>“Well, clothes shopping wasn't the plan Missy,” the Doctor said, as she broke into the car with relative ease. </p><p>“I need things - if you’re going to abduct me, you’re going to need to prepare better. I take it this is your first abduction?” Missy said, sliding into the passenger seat and casting her a look of absolute admiration. “You’re doing great  honey, save the lack of clothes and hair products.”</p><p>The Doctor watched her with interest as she pulled off the band tying her hair back, her voluminous hair falling free around her shoulders. She found herself momentarily transfixed, the voices of the searching security guards, still remaining on the other side of the car park. She smiled, suddenly overcome with memory - Missy’s hair loose, leaning back against her as she brushed her hair in long slow sweeps in the quiet of the vault. </p><p>“I know you’re rather taken with me dear, but this isn't how to go on the run. You need to start the car and drive,” Missy said. </p><p>“Oh, yes, good point,” the Doctor said, pointing her sonic at the ignition and immediately starting the engine. </p><p>“Impressive honey, fifty points for that move, now drive us out of here super fast, let’s squeeze a nice police chase in and you would have sufficiently got our first date off to a great start.”</p><p>“This isn't a date, I’m rescuing you,” the Doctor said, as she released the handbrake.. “I don't understand and you need to explain to me. A year. Why would you keep up this act for a year?”</p><p>“Maybe I’ve just been waiting for a beautiful woman to abduct me?”</p><p>“Come on Missy, you know who I am, you have to. Did you get stuck on earth? Find something useful in that hospital? Are you enslaving the patients for your own army? What are you DOING?”</p><p>Missy stared at her incredulously and then broke into laughter.</p><p>“What? Which one of those was I right about?” the Doctor asked.</p><p>“And <em> I’m </em> the patent?” Missy said, shaking her head before turning her attention to the radio, commencing to continuously change stations.</p><p>“Just settle on something,” the Doctor said as she turned the corner and drove straight out of the hospital grounds. </p><p>"We need On the Run music, nothing works, we need to steal a better car.”</p><p>“No, no more stealing cars, I need to get back to my…” the Doctor began.</p><p>“Vehicle, your vehicle dear,” Missy said.</p><p>“Yep, that.”</p><p>“Which is in the opposite direction,”</p><p>“I’m well aware of that Missy,” the Doctor said through gritted teeth. </p><p>“They will have roadblock soon, be searching cars – escaped psychiatric patient, they probably think I kidnapped a Doctor to escape. How insulting, I don’t need to kidnap anyone, look at me! I’m very kidnappable<em>  clearly </em>, you couldn't help yourself.”</p><p>“You’re right, we can’t go back that way – I’m..parked, outside of the hospital, we just need to go the long way back, loop back around..”</p><p>“Really big loop,” Missy said.</p><p>“Yeah..really big...what are you doing?”</p><p>The Doctor swerved slightly as she snapped her focus back to the road ahead, aware of Missy in her peripheral vision, holding a small scalpel in her fingers delicately, and smile playing on her lips as she watched the light shine off the silver blade. </p><p>“Missy, were did you get that?”</p><p>“Pilfered it from the hospital, I’m a magpie or some such nonsense ism. Last Doctor said I had a propensity for obtaining dangerous items. Can’t help myself! Might be useful - now you’re a fugitive on the run it’s good to have a weapon.”</p><p>“I am not a fugitive on the run, and I don’t need a weapon, hand it over Missy,” the Doctor said, holding out her hand as her other stayed on the steering wheel and her gaze stayed on the road ahead as she drove further away, realising a road block was indeed, being put in place and a longer diversion was needed.</p><p>“But..it’s shiny and sharp and makes me feel all manner of exciting things!” Missy said, looking at her with a pout before her eyes flashed in amusement. “Psychanalyse that Doctor!”</p><p>“I wouldn't even know where to begin with you - just hand the blade over - I don’t want any...incidents,” the Doctor said, flexing her fingers impatiently, while her other hand steered the car.</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>,” Missy said, pouting as she placed the blade in the Doctor’s outstretched hand. “Oh <em>exciting</em>, you're taking me out of town! I haven’t even had garden privileges in months!”</p><p>The Doctor frowned, deep concern filling her hearts as Missy merely continuously changed the radio station until she was finally satisfied with a song and sat back, settling for the journey. </p><p>Two hours further on, the Doctor had taken the motorway and was aware of the increasing distance between them and her TARDIS, but Missy had appeared nothing but interested in everything they passed by, understandable for someone who had been inside for so long, but still, nothing felt right. Missy had eventually settled quietly, still but not sleeping, </p><p>“Gonna get a cosy little hotel and tie me to the bed overnight?” Missy finally said, her voice a welcome relief from the quiet of the road after a while. </p><p>“Have somewhere you want to be?” the Doctor asked. </p><p>“No, I’m here for the road trip honey, bit less thrilling than I hoped for though - we need a nice car chase, sirens and screeching tyres, this is just you driving at a sensible speed through town. Could be better, I'm only scoring you a 3 for this get away now.”</p><p>“Hotel might not be a bad idea for a few hours,” the Doctor said, turning off the road as she spotted a sign. "And please stop grading me."</p><p>“Oh!” Missy said, casting her a highly seductive look. “You and me and a hotel room for a few hours does sound fun! <em>That's</em> more like it.”</p><p>“For <em>talking</em>, Missy. Laying low until the search moves away from the hospital grounds and we can get back to my..vehicle.”</p><p>“Still,” Missy said, with a disappointed sigh. “Two gorgeous gals on the run, one who might escape if you don't get all kinky a tie her to a bed, it has potential you know.”</p><p>The Doctor rolled her eyes as she pulled into the car park, slowing to a stop and slipping out her sonic from an inside pocket and turning off the engine. She hesitated, contemplated whether to leave Missy in the car while she checked in, but decided better of it - letting her out of her sight before she understood what was happening wasn't a good idea at all. </p><p>To the Doctor’s relief, Missy had been very quiet in the reception - a quick glance of curiosity at the psychic paper the Doctor presented when asked for identification, but otherwise, appearing more bored than likely to cause chaos. Relief never did come with peace of mind where her friend was concerned however and she couldn't relax, even when they had stepped inside their room and the door was closed behind them. </p><p>Missy dropped herself down onto the large bed in the centre of the room immediately, stretching her arms above her head and smiling happily at the big comfortable bed.</p><p>“I do hope you brought rope my dear Doctor, wouldn't want me running off when you pop to the little girls room, would we?”</p><p>“I’m not tying you up Missy,” the Doctor said, shaking her head as she sat down onto the bed, nudging Missy over to make room as she sat back with a deep sigh. </p><p>“Fine,” Missy said. “How are you we gonna pass the time then honey? Oh! Is there a mini bar?”</p><p>“We are NOT getting drunk,” the Doctor said. “I have questions Missy and you are going to answer them.”</p><p>Missy smirked, rolling to her side and propping herself up on her elbow. “Fire away honey but to make this more exciting, you can only have three.”</p><p>“What? Missy can you just...be reasonable?”</p><p>“No. One thing I know about me, is that I definitely can’t be reasonable.”</p><p>The Doctor sighed deeply.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor was grateful for the complimentary tea, pouring them both a cup and making Missy’s exactly how she used to like it, hoping as she stirred the sugar in, that her taste in tea had not changed with her memory. She was relieved that the walls were clearly quite paper-thin - the sounds from the bathroom a certain comfort that Missy was washing her hands and using an annoyingly creaky towel holder to dry them. That all meant that Missy was not climbing out of the window, after all. She finished repairing the tea and glanced around the room in annoyance that it lacked even a small coffee table. </p><p>As Missy opened the door, the Doctor was placing two teacups down onto a bedside table, now divested of its lamp and positioned at the foot of the bed with just enough space for them both to sit yet still reach the table. She raised an eyebrow in amusement at the Doctor’s attempt to make some kind of tea table, but sat, picking up her tea and taking a sip, the Doctor doing the same, but nursing her cup while Missy placed hers back down and watched her, amused. </p><p>“Got questions for me them Doctor?” she asked, her hands flat on the bed as she slid them back, the duvet soft and inviting under her palms. Leaning back a little, she turned her head and smiled at the Doctor. “Go ahead then, my mysterious abducting Doctor, what do you want to ask me?”</p><p>“Ok, first,” the Doctor said, placing her cup down and shifting up, folding her legs up onto the bed. “I haven’t abducted you. Second. What are you <em> doing </em> Missy?”</p><p>“<em>Well</em>, I’m holed up in a rather shabby hotel room with my Doctor - kinda sets the scene for some sneaky doctor-patient going-ons,” she paused, turning to mirror the Doctor’s pose and lowering her voice to a whisper. “Of the physical kind.”</p><p>“Missy,” the Doctor said with a deep sigh. “Honestly - do you remember anything?”</p><p>“Nope!” Missy said.</p><p>“What is the last memory you have, before the hospital?”</p><p>“Mmm...don’t know,” Missy said, waving her hand dismissively. “Are we getting snacks?”</p><p>“Going to say no to the snacks, you have tea, we’re alone and I think...can I take a look?”</p><p>“Oh! You DO want to get naughty after all, how exciting,” Missy said, winking at her. </p><p>“No, Missy - I mean...your memory.”</p><p>“Oh, psych speak for<em> talking</em>. Boring. We’re two hot girls on the run! Fugitives from the authorities, let’s have some fun!”</p><p>“No talking, how about we try a little...meditation? New...psychiatric technique - lets me have a look at what’s going on in your mind.”</p><p>“Sure, knock yourself out, wanna dangle some crystals over me too?” Missy said, amused. </p><p>“Ok, I need you to close your eyes, relax everything,” the Doctor said, as she placed a hand against Missy’s cheek, her other resting on her shoulder. Missy’s eyes opened briefly but the Doctor whispered reassurances, feeling instantly protective of her.</p><p>She felt Missy stiffen slightly as she leaned closer, gently rubbing her shoulder as their foreheads touched. She could sense a wave of anxiety and confusion instantly, Missy’s mental barriers were clearly not as fortified as they would normally be. The Doctor felt a flash of guilt, her hearts carrying a nagging doubt that this was ok - if Missy genuinely had no memory of herself, then she couldn't understand what was happening, but she gently cupped her cheek, her breath against Missy’s lips as she focused, determined to be gentle.</p><p>“Contact,” she whispered.</p><p>It felt strange, unnerving in its landscape. Missy would normally meet her with a well-controlled mind, but the Doctor eased in slowly, not feeling any barrage of the chaos she normally expected from her oldest friend. She reached out further, seeking her, searching for the most recent memories but being met with slow-moving images, sedated and sluggish, all quite devoid of her identity. She inched further in, reaching into the distance, floating through a haze deep into Missy’s mind. The quiet was very unlike her - a muffled sense of reality surrounding everything as she gently nudged forwards, distorted voices, sounds merely echos in far off corners, then suddenly the smell of burning and a violent jolt, hard against the Doctor’s mind.</p><p>She gripped Missy’s shoulder tighter as she felt her shift uncomfortably, keeping Missy from abruptly withdrawing and waiting for the pain to pass in her own mind at the sudden barrier. </p><p>“What are you..?”</p><p>“Shh,” the Doctor said, releasing her grip and rubbing Missy’s shoulder gently. “Shhh...it’s ok, it’s just me. Let me see.”</p><p>“See...what?” Missy said, her words silent in the room but a whisper in the Doctor’s mind. </p><p>“What you’re hiding back here Master?” the Doctor said, her voice gentle and soothing.</p><p>“I’m not hiding,” Missy said, her voice louder as the Doctor pushed at the barrier. </p><p>“Then let me in, I’ll keep you safe Missy, I always will. Didn't I promise? A thousand years.”</p><p>Missy flinched, her mind filling with music abruptly, uncontrollably - slow, sad melodious notes echoing through a vast empty space, all around her. Missy’s breathing became rapid and shallow as the space surrounding her became filled with walls, closing in rapidly as the music picked up the pace. She felt a sense of panic well up as she looked around, hastily wanting to retreat from the space she found herself suddenly confused in -  or at least to catch sight of the Doctor, this strange woman who felt so comforting and safe.</p><p>“I’m sorry Missy, there’s nowhere else to go...we could stop...but…” the Doctor stepped forward, taking Missy’s hand as they turned to face the barrier - the smell of burning intensifying from behind it as the air became thick with ashes.</p><p>“Make the walls stop, it’s safe in here,” Missy said, alarm in her voice as it echoed around them.  "We can't leave."</p><p>“This place won’t help you, it never did - it’s only a place to hide. Let me through the door, Missy.”</p><p>Missy felt a rush of confusion and emotion as the barrier turned into large doors, clearly the only exit from the room. The walls slid closer, nudging against her back and forcing her to step forward towards the doors. </p><p>“I don’t want to go out there,” Missy said, her voice field with a sorrow she didn't understand. </p><p>“I’ll go with you,” the Doctor said, taking Missy’s hand. “Just open the doors.”</p><p>Missy closed her tear-filled eyes as the doors slowly creaked open to the sound of mechanisms disengaging. The Doctor grasped her hand firmly and walked forwards, Missy stopping as soon as her boots crunched against a bed of crisp leaves and twigs. Her eyes remained firmly closed despite the tears that escaped her. </p><p>The Doctor glanced around in confusion, the sight of flames and smoke in the distance, faint laughter which seemed to come from every place she focused on, and a sound...a familiar caution that told her someone was going to be hurt. A weapon being discharged - but not for long enough that the Doctor could make sense of it - the entire mental image shook and became pixilated, a slow distortion until it soon disappeared, the forest losing its dimension until it became only an image, surrounding them before it began to shatter like glass, falling in sharp shards all around them.</p><p>The Doctor gently eased back, cautious of harming Missy as she retreated from their connection, and only when she had safely left her mind did she realise her face was wet. She opened her eyes and inched back, a big flash of guilt taking hold as she realised she was wet from Missy’s tears. </p><p>Missy’s eyes were wide and frightened, tear tracks trailing down to her cheekbones as she trembled, taking slow deep breaths and trying to regain her composure. </p><p>“Missy,” the Doctor whispered as she gently wiped her tears away with the backs of her fingers. “What happened in the forest?”</p><p>“What did you do to me?” Missy said defensively. “What <em> was </em>that?</p><p>“I didn’t do that, I promise you. It’s something you have buried, and it might be the cause of your memory loss. I want to explore this…”</p><p>“No!” Missy said abruptly, standing up and walking to the door, leaning back against it and staring at the Doctor from the distance between them. </p><p>“It might be the only way..” the Doctor began, using every ounce of self-control to remain sitting and not pursue Missy.</p><p>“I don’t want to think about this anymore Doctor.”</p><p>“I know honey, I know,” the Doctor said. “But please, memories, dreams, anything at all about a forest, please tell me. Do you remember the colony ship?”</p><p>“Stop...just stop!” Missy shouted, raising her hands as she shook her head. “Enough! Whatever you did, you are NOT doing that again.”</p><p>“I’m sorry Missy, but I only want to help you - I always, always have,” the Doctor said, holding out her hand. “Finish your tea?”</p><p>“Take me shopping,” Missy said, her breath uneven as she fought to control her tears while crossing the room to sit beside the Doctor again, this time leaving a little more space between them that did not go unnoticed by the Doctor. </p><p>“Shopping? This is hardly the time,” the Doctor said with a sigh. “What do you need?”</p><p>“Clothes, shoes, makeup, hair products, and accessories and jewelry. Get me out of these hospital clothes and into something more….stylish and splash out, spoil me and I’ll tell you about my dreams. You Doctors love all that,” she said, the confidence of her words betrayed by the way she took a slow, deep breath in an attempt to ease her trembling.</p><p>“I want to hear about your dreams,” the Doctor said. “Shopping might be awkward given that we should be laying low.”</p><p>“Shopping or I don’t spill. That’s my final offer.”</p><p>“That’s just a demand, that’s not an offer at all, and offer involves the possibility of negotiation at least, you're just…” the Doctor paused and took in Missy’s highly amused expression, relieved that her tears were subsiding. “We might not need shopping. I took the liberty of taking the bag the hospital had with your possessions in -...maybe if you started with the things in there. We can go for hair products too if you really need to but for now, let's have a look, and maybe, if anything about your dreams comes to mind, you could share?”</p><p>The Doctor stood and moved to her coat, draped over the small drawing table, and pulled out a plastic bag attached to a clip. </p><p>“You're a stealthy one, I think I like that,” Missy said, her breath calming now and amused that the Doctor had concealed the large bag under her coat.</p><p>“It’s a roomy coat, no one noticed a thing. Now,” she said, with an eager smile of expectation and excitement. “Let's take a look. I already showed you the umbrella, how about this? Or you could try something on?”</p><p>Missy took the brown tie as the Doctor handed it to her, turning it over in her hands and contemplating it, keeping hold as the Doctor emptied the contents of the bag onto the bed and spread them out. Missy’s eyes roamed over the array of jewelry, makeup and clothes with interest. </p><p>“Well, we know I’m stylish,” Missy said. </p><p>“Yes, you always have been,” the Doctor smiled.</p><p>“You're not just my Doctor are you?”</p><p>“I’ve always been your Doctor….just not...Missy, you're my oldest friend, I know you, <em>well.</em> I only want to help you and you can trust me.”</p><p>“Fine,” she said, slipping on a bracelet and raising her arm to the light to admire it. “I have bad dreams about a forest, what do you wanna know? But I want treats if spill. Sweets, something super sugary, and I'm hungry, being on the run gives me quite the appetite, so I need burritos.”</p><p>The Doctor rolled her eyes as she reached for her coat again, this time pulling out a large packet of jelly babies. “Step ahead of you there Missy. Burritos later. Now spill.”</p><p>"OK Doctor," she said, taking a deep breath. "I dream that something bad happened in the forest, blades and screams and metal banging on metal, and sometimes, I die."</p><p>The Doctor swallowed guilt and regret flooding through her. </p><p>"I thought...I thought you left...I didn't check, I didn't go back to check for you, please tell me what happened...tell me what you dream," the Doctor whispered.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I once wrote a regen story and I never put it online or finished it because Missy regenerating is a concept that upsets me. This story means those ideas I formed of her getting off the ship can be interwoven into it. It's always my headcanon that she did not regenerate there and that she got off the ship, with great difficulty and battle to survive, but then lived at *least* a couple of hundred years if not many more because I won't let her end, I love her too much :-)</p><p>I think Missy and Simm killing each other - even if she survived, was still quite a trauma for her in itself but more happened after that and now she finally has 13 to help her heal &lt;3 I will give her fluff though and plenty of it, she deserves all the love and fluff &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I promise after this, Missy is gonna get some fluff, she's earned it. Nothing like Thrissy fluff!</p><p>Also, I have a problem with my keyboard right now, so hopefully I've managed to edit this ok but it's a challenge!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor watched with her patience crumbling as Missy rummaged through the bag, carefully extracting every green jelly baby before handing the packet back to the Doctor, dropping down onto her back and selecting one as she held it up in front of her eyes, regarding it before she made a growl and bit it’s head off. </p><p>The Doctor shook her head and ate a randomly selected jelly baby, hoping that Missy would focus and concentrate on solving this.</p><p>“You have sweets, clothes, jewelry, makeup - lots of things, now come on Missy, tell me about your dreams.”</p><p>“Pfft, that was already <em> m </em>y stuff, but thanks for stealing it back for me. Look, it’s not all that exciting truth be told,” Missy said with a bored sigh. “Explosions in the distance, lots of trees, burning, and I keep dying. Not always, sometimes I just lay there half-dead on the ground, sometimes on a table,” she shrugged as she stuffed the rest of the sweet into her mouth.</p><p>“Ok let’s go through this slowly - how did you end up half-dead in the first place?”</p><p>“Mmm, no idea,” Missy said, avoiding eye contact quite pointedly as she focused entirely on another sweet. “What did YOU dream about last night?”</p><p>“You,” the Doctor said, with a sad smile. “I dreamed about you.”</p><p>“Oh!” Missy said, sitting up and breaking into a happy smile. “You’re someone who missed me VERY MUCH then are you? Tell me about us!”</p><p>“Perhaps, if we work through your memories, I won't <em> need </em> to tell you - Missy, first of all, the place in your mind, it’s real. It’s not a dream.”</p><p>“Oh, did I die too? Am I a superhero who can just pop back to life?” she asked, amused.</p><p>“Not quite...well to the superhero part, the last time I saw you, you were heading to that forest, and you weren't alone.”</p><p>“Oh? Well, maybe more sweets and some tacos might help jog my memory, nachos too.”</p><p>“The last dream you had - just describe it, only that, even if it doesn't make sense.”</p><p>“Fine,” Missy said, annoyed that the Doctor was blatantly ignoring her perfectly reasonable requests. “It was evening, not quite dark yet, danger in the air, the sound of trouble getting closer. I felt immaculate even though I’m sure things were on fire around me - pain, sharp, deep, and blood. Not sure if it was mine, I felt it and I didn't feel it at the same time, then anger, loud violent anger in a flash. Numbers in the sky, everything stops but I still see them only those numbers and nothing else. Laughter and an army approaching. Metal, lots of metal, and then I woke up. Hungry! And do you know what they had for breakfast? Porridge and orange slices. Same as the last day and the day before that. Hospital food Doctor, is appalling. Or...maybe they think crazy people won't complain, who would listen?”</p><p>“<em>I’m</em> listening,” the Doctor said, frowning. “You’re not crazy, some may debate that but you're not imagining this, it’s not a delusion.”</p><p>“Well, whatever happened, doesn't matter, I’m only interested in today, and today I am alone in a hotel room having been abducted by my hot Doctor. Come on honey, tie me up then.”</p><p>The Doctor rolled her yes as Missy flopped back down, stretching her arm above her head and casting her a highly suggestive look. </p><p>“OK, let's rip the plaster off. Missy, you're a time lord, you undergo complete cellular regeneration when you are close to death. The last time I saw you, you were walking off into the forest with..well, the last body you wore so to speak. Ring any bells?”</p><p>Missy stared at her, stunned and then burst into laughter. </p><p>“Doctor, really? Have you been at the mini-bar? You better share the booze, my love.”</p><p>The Doctor sighed and accepted defeat. </p><p>“Do I get mexican now honey?” Missy said with a smile. </p><p> </p><p>Night fell and the Doctor opted to stay put and use the time, with Missy relatively contained and unlikely to just leave, to work out a way forward. She was relieved that Missy seemed quite content to get into bed and turn out the light, so the Doctor sat by the bathroom, the door pulled almost closed, the light inside illuminating in a soft band across the room. </p><p>Missy clearly wasn't sleeping. She had asked the Doctor for sleeping pills, a fact that concerned her. Having decided to hide most of the medication she had been prescribed, sleeping tablets clearly were ones she had been taking, forcing her into an unnecessary human sleep cycle. It concerned the Doctor - human medicine was never going to be healthy for her. She knew that the only way to conduct a thorough medical assessment was to get her back her TARDIS. There she could determine how much of Missy’s condition was caused by the medicine which was wholly incompatible with a Gallifreyan system and how much was an injury, or even trauma that may have occurred the last time she had seen her.</p><p>Shee simply wanted Missy to be safe. If she had found her again, all that time later, engaged in a morally ambiguous plan, deep into a relationship with her past self or sabotaging the Doctor’s TARDIS, at least she would know what to do with that. <em>This</em> was tricky. </p><p>She was broken from her thoughts by Missy’s movement, finally asleep for the past 40 minutes, but now moving in jagged, uncomfortable motions, turning and letting out small gasps. She frowned and got to her feet, sitting gently on the edge of the bed as she contemplated whether she really should reach out to her mind again, given Missy’s objection the last time. </p><p>She had no time to contemplate however when Missy’s mind collided full force into her own, pain making her wince and moan as Missy’s dream forced it’s way straight into the nearest mind it could share with. She gripped the bedspread tightly and took slow deep breaths, letting her mind relax and accept the shared images, doing her best not to fight it as the pain began to ease and she opened her mind to fully embrace the bombardment to her senses.</p><p>~</p><p>Pain.</p><p>Pain woke the deathly still form of Missy in her dreamscape. The Doctor watched the body of her oldest friend, motionless amongst twigs and leaves, no flicker of life visible - a long practiced skill that had saved her in so many ways, across so many lives.</p><p>No movement, her breath stilled, eyes closed as she listened. The first step to survival was trying to work out how to get the advantage to get herself safe, and for that she needed to understand the risks. So she focused hard.</p><p>Metal - the forest floor replaced with the table she was lying on, cold beneath her hand, hard against her head. Nothing holding her down, which she assumed meant that whoever had placed her there, assumed she was either dead or too close to death to be of any concern. That was good. That was how she liked it. The sounds of machinery and tools so close to her however - that, was not how she liked it. That, was downright alarming. </p><p>Voices, and oh, now she knew. These were very familiar voices - cold, calculated - their words, as she remained calm and focused, discussing the faint sight of the life on the monitor. The ideal conversion moment - a flicker of organic life left. </p><p>They were converting her. </p><p>She would <em> not </em> become a biomechanical zombie. </p><p>Now that she had awoken from her self-induced stasis, triggered when any weapon discharged and hit her corset, she had taken only one shallow breath. Just enough to start her system functioning, enough to keep her alive. Her respiratory bypass, however, was being pushed too far. She had to take another breath, and soon.<br/><br/>Hands were on her, inspecting a painful area to the left of her forehead - a pain she now realised was caused by something solid and penetrating. It was just a matter of time. </p><p>A sudden change in body temperature, cool air against her skin as her shirt was pulled open and a sudden crushing pressure against her chest. She had no choice, and likely only one chance. One blind chance. </p><p>The Doctor stepped forward, wanting to help her, needing to set her free, the thought of them going any further making bile rise up in her throat. She reached out, her hand outstretched, calling her name, shouting for them to get away from her, but her voice was merely an echo, unheard.</p><p>Missy took a deep, energising breath, her eyes flying open as air rushed into her lungs and her arms flung out to the sides, chancing her luck. Blind to the Doctor’s presence, she grasped at anything she could reach, grabbing, by a stroke of luck, her umbrella in one hand and a long metal implement from the table beside her bed. She swung her legs around and twisted as she launched herself off the bed, her arms shooting back and forwards blindly at first as she impacted anyone and everyone who was anywhere near her. </p><p>Launching off the bed, she swung around, ignoring the soundtrack of approaching cybermen and the heightened state of alert in the room. She lunged and smacked repeatedly, metal against metal, the spike of her umbrella piercing flesh, barely focusing on anything until finally, all that remained was the sound of the machinery beeping and her own breath - fast and ragged. </p><p>Ragged. That wasn’t right. </p><p>She glanced around the room, stepping over bodies, retaining her umbrella but discarding the metal tool which had made a rather good spear, and exchanging it for another surgical tool, similar length but with a nice sharper point. She grasped them both tightly and listened - the hospital was quiet enough, there was nothing to gain by delaying. </p><p><br/>She shoved the doors open, her senses heightened and sharp - readying herself for the slightest battle. A teleportation device, that was what she needed, and there was only one place in the entire hospital where she might find anything close to that. <br/><br/>It had been so long, so many years, more than she cared to admit - a girl had to have some secrets after all, and how long she had actually been in this delightful body, well, she did tell the Doctor that her whole life didn’t revolve around him.</p><p>“Bet he didn’t believe me,” she muttered, as she turned another corner, and then another, and then finally stumbled upon the room that held memories for her. A decade of spending time with the Doctor’s pet - she hadn’t remembered that it was Bill - only the sense of familiarity - the time spent together, eating the amazing pancakes she cooked - definitely a step up for whatever mess the Doctor ‘cooked’ and called breakfast, and all those years, watching the Doctor. </p><p>She had liked Bill. She didn’t remember her face when she came into the vault, but she had nothing against her. She remembered liking her when she was him - not that he would ever admit that. He had to go and rip the Doctor’s world apart and butcher the pet, just when she was trying to change and really feeling like she was getting somewhere. Trust her past to come waltzing in and ruining everything. </p><p>She really was her own worst enemy. </p><p>The Doctor watched her in silence, taking the opportunity to glance around the room, the illusion of clutter - the Master had a purpose for everything in it, no doubt every useful component he could gather. To the untrained eye, it was mere junk. She stared at the chair as Missy sat, a crude teleportation device now in her hands. She willed Missy's dream to show her more...show her past self, show...Bill. </p><p>Only Missy and the Doctor remained in the room as Missy turned the device over in her hands.</p><p>A teleportation device was exactly what she needed - limited in range, however, very basic.  One trip, that was all that she needed to engineer it to do - vaulting her through time and space, latching on to familiar DNA strands. She hoped she would end up right inside the Doctor’s TARDIS, perhaps whispering his name as she worked, leaving a message in his subconscious - ridiculous idea, but maybe her whisper of his name would somehow reach him. Wake the idiot up if he was sleeping after all this chaos. Chaos never made her tired.</p><p>It took three days, and she barely moved - it was just taking far too much energy to try, so she conserved it. The Doctor remained like her sentry, time racing past as stood silently watching, hearts racing at the fear that Missy might wake up and sever the link.</p><p>Missy sat patiently as she worked, wearing a perception filter, her life signs masked and undetectable, her focus shifting more and more as her device neared completion, to the now empty screen. It was strange how memories came back, how they flooded in at times. She recalled sitting here, sharing jokes with Bill as they ate pancakes, talking about the Doctor. She sighed and closed her eyes. She had been needlessly cruel to the pet.</p><p>The Doctor closed her eyes, tears stinging suddenly at the images that only fleetingly rushed into view, she wanted to shout at Missy to top, let her see, let her talk to Bill, just for a moment, even if it wasn't real, but she was brought from her thoughts as Missy gasped, a wince of pain as she finally placed her tools on her lap.</p><p>Missy took a slow, steadying breath - her headache, a sharp piercing pain that she had grown accustomed to, but the deep, pulsating ache in the centre of her chest was not so easy to ignore. She pulled out her compact from her pocket. They had ruined her buttons, and most of her clothes, leaving her to wear her blouse loose and simply tied in a knot to keep it closed. Her skirt was the only thing still immaculate, and her boots were barely scuffed, so she had some sense of decorum still. She considered making some new buttons to replace the ones ripped off of her coat, but the constant sound of Cybermen around the hospital was starting to grate on her nerves - and her sense of urgency. </p><p>She opened the compact mirror, realising it was her only opportunity to inspect the damage with no other mirror in Razor’s room. She sighed at the metal implant on her forehead, touching it gingerly and realising it would need surgery to remove. Not a deal breaker though, entirely possible. </p><p>“Still pretty, in a shinier way, but still pretty.”</p><p>She pulled her shirt open, and angled the mirror - and a horrible realisation crept over her. </p><p>“Oh,” she said, reality crashing down quite abruptly. “Not so easy to fix. Well, as long as it’s not connected too deeply to my central nervous system, it’s livable. It is though, isn't it? I don’t even want to get up to make pancakes anymore.”</p><p>“I thought….I thought you left with him Missy,” the Doctor said. “If I’d known...Missy I should have come back, tried to find you...I’m sorry. Missy!," the Doctor called again, stepping closer, reaching out, hands trying to rest on her shoulders but merely passing through her. “Missy, show me how you got off this ship.”</p><p>Time sped up around them, a cascade of images like broken puzzle pieces, some cracking and shattering to the ground as she fought to make them out - fighting, bleeding, the silver flash of blades as they pierced flesh and Missy’s desperately failing energy, a flash of teleportation energy and then suddenly an unexpected warmth as a new room took shape around her, the image stable now as Missy lay on a console room floor. The Doctor ran to her, dropping to her knees beside her and reaching out, this time her hand meeting tangible flesh as she rested it on Missy’s shoulder. </p><p>The sense of loneliness hit the Doctor hard, a barrage of images fluttering more gently now into her mind - of trying for seventy years to be someone the Doctor would finally love, but still, still he didn’t trust her, didn’t hold her while she cried. Left her alone with the darkest of thoughts plaguing her. What had she learned? How to modify her behavior to make someone happy? What did that serve but to erase part of who she was.<br/><br/>Was it really all for nothing?<br/><br/>Did he regret it too?</p><p>“No, no Missy, never. I never regret a thing with you,” she said, crying now as deep guilt shot through her. "I loved you, I always did, I just wanted to help you."</p><p>Scenes flashed uncontrollably through her mind; Missy and the Doctor playing chess, sharing food, watching movies, his boring BORING talks about morality, his reaction when she raged and threw things, trashing her own ‘home’, the times she broke down, refusing him entry - which he respected, but how scared he sounded on the other side of the door, begging her to give him consent to enter, telling her he would come in without her consent if she was hurting herself.<br/><br/>Then days where he patched her up when she blacked out, waking up with injuries she couldn't explain - but the blood on the doors spoke volumes. Nardole looked more and more scared on days like those, his whisper as they left one day - saying to the Doctor that he prefered her threatening him, this….was worrying.<br/><br/>Sweets and books and beautifully constructed letters in her diary. The calmness as time moved on and they settled into each other company. The doctor brushing her hair, being baffled by just how many hair pins she wore. Not even inspecting them to discover one was a TCE. She wasn’t going to use it though - she believed in their promise. She wanted to change - but on <em>her</em> terms. Was it worth it, in the end?</p><p>"Yes," the Doctor whispered. "Every second with you is always worth it, and you did change, I know you did."</p><p>Missy groaned on the floor, eyes open but not showing any awareness of the Doctor. Urgency set in, knowing that her body was shutting down, not able to function without either full conversion or intensive surgery that really she was the only person who knew how to perform, she could either lay there and accept it or try. Hadn’t she survived worse? Much worse. </p><p>The Doctor felt Missy’s form disappear from beneath her hand as she heard her call out with her every ounce of failing strength, a complicated sequence of numbers and letters in Gallifreyen, triggering an emergency sequence. She stepped back, confused as two A.I interfaces appeared, both identical in appearance to Missy, but wearing purple hospital style outfits as the room changed to a highly technical medical room. They got to work fast, beginning surgical procedures that the Doctor wanted to intervene with - they would have Missy’s knowledge, but not her skill, they would be limited by their programming and not capable of the sharp, instinctive thought and talent that Missy had.</p><p>"Ladies," Missy said, her eyes fluttering closed as she smiled faintly. "Spot of bother..." </p><p>They smiled at each other, pulling out tools and devices, eyes flashing in excitement as they began to make incisions.</p><p>Missy abruptly screamed in pain as she cursed in Gallifreyen at them for forgetting to sedate her first. Finally, to the Doctor's relief, they sent her into a peaceful sleep and worked hard, removing components and reestablishing nerves and ligaments. It was early enough, the Doctor could see that it was going reasonably well, her upper chest just below her collar bone, left with a large angry scar, but her body able to heal and out of immediate danger. </p><p>The Doctor watched in disbelief as the A.I. Missy’s laughed and joked, leaning briefly over her body, mirroring each other's motions.</p><p>“Might I say how lovely you look while performing major surgery?” the first droid said, smiling coyly as she chewed her lip and cast a highly flirtatious look at her twin.</p><p>“Oh! Thank you my dear, and might I say how gorgeous you are, and how much that scalpel suits you in your hand?”</p><p>“FOCUS!” The Doctor exclaimed in dismay, in futile as her words echoed into the distance.</p><p>“You may,” the other droid said, giggling as she leaned forward, as they both proceeded to briefly forget about their patient and exchange a soft and lingering kiss, breaking away to smile lovingly at each other before remembering they were in the middle of major surgery and giggling as they continued to focus on the implant in Missy's head, commenting on how beautiful she was and how they would take extra care. The Doctor shook her head, amazed that Missy had taken the time to program flirtatious behaviour in her life saving droids  - she assumed they weren’t finished, but that was the risk and possibly the reason for her loss of memory. </p><p>She watched as they worked on the wound on her head, everything going well into a slight flash occurred and spike in the monitoring equipment followed. The droids worked to finish, the implant removed and the wound closed expertly, considerable time taken to repair the scar. She had to give it to the flirtatious self-loving droids, they had patched Missy up extremely well. It seemed perfectly successful until Missy later woke, looking around in panic and screaming as the droids, then sharing the same chair and a deep embrace, broke their kiss and looked up, smiling at her. </p><p>The Doctor's eyes opened as Missy whimpered on the bed, thrashing around as her breath came fast and shallow.</p><p>“Missy, not yet, just a few more minutes, show me, show me what happened in the forest.”</p><p>The Doctor’s mind felt like it had slammed against a wall as the scene changed in a split second, two people in a forest, an embrace, a blade, the shock they both felt, and the way Missy could feel the pain in her own back as she slid the blade in and the scene played out.<br/><br/>She watched in anguish as she hit the ground, feeling dismayed for her until she was wrenched abruptly from the dream as Missy screamed and shoved her out of her mind, </p><p>“What the hell did you just do to me?” she said, eyes wide as she backed up until she was pressed her back hard against he had board. </p><p>“Nothing, I wasn't even there - and I'm <em>so sorry</em> because I should have been. Honey I promised you a thousand years and left you alone to survive <em>that</em>. Let me help you now, please trust me Missy, your TARDIS can't be far from where you were found, if we go there - we can help you, your droids made a mistake but it’ll be fixable. Trust me, just trust me to find your TARDIS and get you back again. I'm so sorry.”</p><p>“Your insane,” Missy said, wiping her tears from her face as she stared at her intently. “But I think I like it. It's a good look on you. I don't know how you got into my dream or what a word you are saying means, but gotta admit, it excites me. So fine. But keep the hell out of my mind. Promise me that and I’ll play along with your crazy game. because despite your obvious insanity, I am quite taken with you..”</p><p>“In my defense you shoved your way into<em> my</em> mind,” the Doctor said, with a sigh of relief.</p><p>“Either way, from your little cameo in my head you sure had a lot of apologies and guilt. I think you have a whole lot making up to me to do,” Missy said, contemplating that he was definitely getting mexican now.</p><p>“Probably gonna be worse once you know who you are isn't it?”</p><p>“Mmm, probably," Missy said, calming now as intrigue took hold. "Tell me more about those beautiful surgeons..”</p><p>
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